"Obviously." I'd been waiting for him to show up at the flower shop when he called from the airport to break the news. Even now, the sound of a PA system makes me nauseous.
"What's your plan?" She leans back and takes another bite of her cupcake. My scone is a lopsided one-inch by one-inch misshapen square that gives me the creeps, while her treat is still three-quarters intact.
"I'll apply for another position. The Wrights have already replaced me, so I can't go back there."
I stayed in New York for several weeks after that, selling our furniture and canceling the wedding vendors. And moping. Can't forget the moping. I had everything planned down to a T. And now? This… nothing. I've never felt more like a failure in my life.
It didn't help that I was staying in the home we were supposed to live in, surrounded by his stuff. He didn't take anything. And yes, I was the responsible one—I sent him half the money from the sold items. The rest is sitting in my savings account.
"What are the chances you'll end up here?"
"Here?" I glance around the cafe. I could easily see myself working here, shoving pastries in my face, if I didn't love kids so much. But she means Kansas City. "I doubt it." I shrug. "I've opened my profile for placements in the Midwest and the West Coast. I've seen enough of the Atlantic Ocean and city life." I pop the last bite into my mouth and groan inwardly. I'm not about to make a fool of myself again.
"It would be wonderful if you did. We could see each other more."
"I don't know." Growing up in the Midwest was stifling. I wanted to attend art openings, go to the opera, see Broadway plays. "I guess if the right opportunity came along, it would be fine. It depends on the situation. Part of me would like to see more of the West Coast. I've only been there once, for a vacation. Up in the mountains. The snow-capped peaks were mesmerizing. After the bustle of New York, I'd like a slower pace."
"It must have been nice to travel and see the world. I can't remember the last time I went to the grand opening of anything." She laughs and shakes her head. "Unless it was a gym or an adventure park."
Jade's husband is a personal trainer. Her older kids from her ex-husband are in grade school, and she and Kevin's baby is still in diapers.
I smile, but the emotion doesn't reach my eyes. Traveling wasn't as much fun as I expected. In fact, I can't remember the last time I actually went anywhere. The Wrights were workaholics; most of the time, I was watching the kids when I was scheduled to be off. My heart pangs against my ribs.
Don't go there. I shove thoughts of Luna and Matteo, my previous charges, into a box and turn the key. Remember. Nanny Rule #1—Don't let your emotions get involved.
A perky blonde with a huge smile holds an oversized silver tray against her hip as she restocks the glass display case. More scones. My mouth waters. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, keeping my feet flat on the floor. I don't need another scone.
What's wrong with one more? I can run an extra mile tonight. Andrew's street is quiet, and I have nothing else to do. Loveless. Living in my brother's spare bedroom. Jobless. Fuck it.
"I'll be right back." I shove my chair back from the table and straighten my spine, head held high. I deserve it. Yes, I deserve to eat my emotions.
I walk past the blue-haired woman rubbing her pregnant belly. Son of a bitch. I'll get two more. That makes it an even four for today. Everywhere I look, someone has kids or is pregnant.
Tears sting my eyes, and I blink them away. Don't. You're not a baby. I swallow and tighten my jaw.
"What can I get you?" The name tag above the woman's badge says *Chloe*.
"Do you own the place?"
"Yes, I do." Her face flushes with pride.
"It's adorable, and your scones are delicious."
"Thank you." She smiles.
"I'll take two more." I wipe my hands on my jeans. Why didn't I wear spandex instead of denim? "In a box, of course. I'll eat one for breakfast the next two mornings. Or every other morning."
God, you sound like an idiot. She knows you'll shove them in your face in the parking lot after you eat the second one still sitting on your plate.
After she hands me the box, she takes my cash and deposits it into the register, giving me my change. "Come in again. I love a woman with good taste. So many people get my cupcakes and ignore my other baked goods."
"I'll be back." I spin around and come face-to-face with Jade.
"Sex is better than emotional eating."
"Shut up." I tuck the box between my arm and my side.
"If you ever need an Ultimate Fantasy Box, I know a great place that combines pastries with sex toys," Chloe says, her tone carrying a lyrical cadence.