Allie

W ith a bone-cracking yawn, I pulled my favorite cardigan on over my pajama shorts and tank top, then stumbled out of my bedroom.

I’d kill for another hour of sleep, but alas, that wasn’t happening anytime soon.

I flicked on the light switch in the living room, narrowly avoiding stepping on a toy car, but managed to put my right foot on a tiny piece of plastic torture also known as a LEGO brick.

“ Ow .” Hopping on one foot, I raised my voice. “Ollie, are you up and dressed? I’m making breakfast.”

The pain subsided. Quickly, I rushed through the tiny living room, collecting toys and books, and shoving them in the huge basket in the corner.

Wandering into the kitchen, I yawned again, then put the coffee machine on.

I’d stayed up too late. I’d realized I was behind on laundry and had done two loads after Ollie had gone to bed.

I’d also needed to stitch a button back on a pair of his jeans.

A seamstress, I was not. It had taken me way longer than it should have, because the button had fallen off twice after I’d finished stitching it.

There were never enough hours in the day lately. I pulled out some plates and glasses. Next, I put some Pop Tarts in the toaster. I winced. My brother would kill me, knowing I was feeding his kid Pop Tarts.

“Sorry, bro. I’m running short on time today.” I poured a glass of orange juice, just as my nephew came in.

He did it quietly. Ollie had never been the loudest kid in the room, but he’d become even quieter and more withdrawn since his parents had been killed.

Who could blame him? My heart squeezed. Fuck, I missed Sean. My brother had been the person I was closest to in the entire world.

Our parents had divorced when we were in our teens.

Dad had remarried and moved to Denver. Mom had focused on mom, getting into yoga, the spa, and cruising.

She lived in Arizona now and had a wealthy boyfriend.

Sean and I had thankfully had each other.

He’d understood me. He hadn’t judged. He’d supported me, no matter what.

I pressed a palm to my chest, letting the grief sit there.

Now, it was just me and Ollie.

As the five-year-old climbed onto a stool at the small kitchen island, my heart squeezed even harder. He was so quiet. Too quiet. And he looked like a mini-Sean, with his dark hair and gray eyes. It also meant he looked like me, too. People always assumed that he was mine.

“Morning, kiddo.”

“Morning, Allie.”

I circled the island and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head.

“It’s a Pop Tart morning.” That got me a flicker of a smile.

We both shared an unhealthy love of Pop Tarts.

I pushed the glass of juice across the island in front of him.

“Drink that, so I can pretend that you’re getting some vitamins. ”

I served up the breakfast of champions, then gratefully drank my coffee. As I gulped it down, I could feel the caffeine hitting my veins, my brain cells soaking it up.

“Right. I have work. You have school.” I paused. “Who are you going to play with today?”

He toyed with his glass. “I don’t know.”

My heart squeezed, yet again. I’d gotten a lot of ‘I don’t knows’ since he’d started kindergarten the month before. I knew he was having trouble making friends, but the teacher kept telling me to have patience.

Sean, I hope to hell I’m not screwing up your kid.

The last thing I’d expected was to become a single mom at age twenty-nine. After ten months of it, it had me questioning everything I thought I’d known. I honestly didn’t know how parents did it.

But I had a grieving five-year-old to care for, so there was no time to worry or wish like hell that my brother and sister-in-law hadn’t been carjacked by a maniac.

“Okay, go brush your teeth, my man, and grab your backpack.”

Once he’d disappeared down the hall to his room, I sprang into action.

I grabbed a discarded hoodie off the floor, some socks, and a scarf.

I dashed to the laundry room and dumped them in the hamper.

The condo wasn’t tiny, but it wasn’t huge, either.

I’d had to sell the four-bedroom house my brother and sister-in-law had owned.

There was no way I could afford to pay the mortgage.

My nose wrinkled. I still felt bad. So much had changed in Ollie’s life, and maybe it would have been better for him if he could’ve stayed in his own home.

Or maybe it would have been worse, filled as it would have been, with all the memories of his parents. I had no idea.

Shaking my head, I raced into my bedroom. I quickly dressed in my uniform.

Before everything in my life had changed, I’d worn sleek suits, and lived and worked in New York City.

I tried not to think about Before too much.

Now, it was all about After. In my life now, I was a housekeeping supervisor at the Langston Windward—the best resort in the small mountain town I’d grown up in.

Sean and I had attended the same school that Ollie went to.

All through my childhood, I’d dreamed of escaping Windward to a glamorous life in the city, with a fast-paced career, great shoes, an exciting nightlife.

After I fastened my brown pants, I tugged the tunic-style top into place.

Now, I was back in Windward. Back walking the same streets I had as a kid, back shopping in the same grocery store, back smiling and waving to the same people I’d known all my life.

Pretending not to see their sympathy and pity was new, but I was mastering that well.

I brushed my short, black hair with my fingers, then swiped on some minimal makeup.

Now, I had a kid to worry about. Nothing else mattered.

Not that I’d given up my New York dream, not that I had no time to sleep or exercise, or that I worried constantly I’d make a mistake with Ollie.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

Yikes, it was impossible to miss the dark circles under my eyes. I sighed.

Suck it up, Ford.

I strode out. “Okay, Ol-ster, let’s roll.”

He was already waiting for me at the door, with his backpack on and his face solemn. He nodded at me.

We headed out of the condo and I locked the door behind us.

Our place was at the end of the second floor on the corner.

The bonus was that we had extra windows—with views of the thick trees outside that I loved—and our door was tucked around a corner, so it was private.

I’d put a cute little planter beside the door with a plant I desperately tried to keep alive.

There was also a tiny fairy statue stuck in the soil.

She peeked out through the leaves with a mischievous look on her face.

Ollie called her Sparkle since she was dusted with gold.

That was my little secret—I collected fairy statues. Sean had bought me one when I was ten, and I’d loved collecting them ever since. My dresser in my room was covered in them.

We headed down the hall and passed our neighbor’s door. Mrs. Jenkins was a lifesaver. She often babysat Ollie, if I had an out-of-school-hours shift, or had a chance to go to cocktail night with my girlfriends. She baked, and he liked her and her cookies.

Outside, a brisk wind whipped down the sidewalk. The condo building didn’t have a garage, just assigned parking places in the tree-lined lot in front of the building. It was great in summer, but I wasn’t looking forward to the winter and digging the car out when it snowed.

We headed toward my beat-up Toyota RAV4.

I hadn’t owned a car in New York, but when I came back to Windward, I’d needed one.

I hadn’t saved much money since living in the Big Apple was expensive, and I’d made the most of living in one of the most exciting cities on Earth.

Sean had talked about looking into life insurance, but he hadn’t gotten around to it.

He and Sylvie had been young, fit, and healthy.

No one could have predicted they’d be violently murdered by a criminal out on parole.

My stomach did a sickening turn. Swallowing, I unlocked the car. “In we go, kiddo.”

Sean and Sylvie hadn’t owned their house for very long, so they hadn’t built up much equity in it. I’d used what little I gained from the sale of the house to buy the small, second-hand SUV—and the rest I’d socked away for Ollie.

Once Ollie was buckled into his booster seat, I drove to school.

It killed me that Sean and Sylvie had missed seeing their little man start school.

I managed to find a parking spot in the drop-off chaos outside the main school building.

I cursed, as a woman in a Mercedes SUV cut me off and stole it.

But I did it under my breath so little ears wouldn’t hear.

After snagging another spot, I walked Ollie to the gate.

“You make sure you eat all your lunch.”

“Okay.”

“And remember, it’s not just about learning to read, it’s making friends, having fun.”

His nose wrinkled. “I know.”

“All right, you have a great day.” I crouched down in front of him so that we were eye level. God, I never knew how much you could love someone until you stared at a kid you were responsible for, and they looked back at you with pure trust.

Ollie nodded.

“We’re going to go and see Miss Catherine this afternoon, okay?”

He looked at his feet.

Catherine was his therapist. She assured me that he was doing well, and just needed time to deal with his grief.

“Ollie?”

He looked up. “I like Miss Catherine. It’s just… When I talk about mommy and daddy, I feel sad.”

“Oh, kiddo, that’s normal.” I hugged him. “I feel sad sometimes, too. I miss them so much.”

He looked at me with those solemn, gray eyes. “I do, too.”

I ruffled his hair. “Want me to walk you in?” I didn’t have the time. I’d be late to work, but I didn’t care.

He nodded.