KINCAID
Judd: I got the job in Montana. I think I’m gonna take it.
Max: Damn, brother. I’m gonna miss the fuck out of you. But maybe a fresh start is what you need.
_____________________
I’d been only a few blocks from Timber when the dispatch call had come over the radio.
All units, respond to a reported structure fire at Timber on Founder’s Row. Witness reports smoke and flame visible from the roof. Repeat, smoke and flame.
Over the years, I’d heard thousands upon thousands of calls like that one, and each time—whether it was a hangar fire on a base overseas, or an office building back in Philly, or a wildfire here in Legacy—my stomach would drop.
For just a heartbeat, I’d feel the panicked helplessness of a twelve-year-old who’d watched as his whole world was burned to ash.
It only ever lasted a second before my years of training would kick in. Before the haze of panic would recede in a wash of cool logic. I’d remember I wasn’t a helpless kid anymore and that I knew what to do: follow the rules, stick to the procedures that had become second nature.
Rely on protocol.
But tonight was different.
I’d texted Tavo this morning to ask how Alex was, and he’d said Alex was glad Timber was closed tonight so he could get to bed early. It was already ten thirty, which meant they were probably both in bed by now.
Right under the roof that was now engulfed in flame.
As I wheeled my truck toward Founder’s Row, my stomach dropped and kept dropping. Panic gripped me with long claws and stuck. And once again, it felt like my whole world might burn to ash…
Because somehow, Alex Marian had become my world.
Though I was already close to Timber, I felt like I lived a hundred lifetimes in the time it took me to get there.
A hundred lives without Alex Marian’s sweet smile, without his laughter, without his stubborn affection, without his pleasured cries ringing in my ear.
A hundred lifetimes I had no interest in experiencing.
So when I saw the fire licking out from under the eaves, a living thing crawling fast through the attic toward the room where Alex was sleeping, I didn’t stop to assess.
I didn’t set up a command. I didn’t wait for my crew to run line, or handle the scene like the damn textbook rules I’d drilled into rookies a hundred times—two in, two out.
Wait for backup. Don’t risk collapse with attic fire.
What did the rules matter if Alex was up there burning alive?
I took off running for the building as soon as my feet hit the ground. My crew shouted after me, but I was already inside, smoke wafting down the hall and out the door I’d opened.
“Alex!” My panicked voice cracked in the thick smoke, nothing like the calm command I usually kept on scene. I swept my light hard across the ceiling, up the narrow stairs, heart hammering.
Every instinct screamed that this was wrong. Reckless. The kind of choice that could cost me my life. But I didn’t want my life if Alex wasn’t in it, plain and simple.
I battled my way up the stairs one at a time, through air so thick it choked me. It was so dense, I knew it was more burn-off than flame, but smoke was the killer in most house fires. And if Alex and Tavo were up there with no gear, dammit, I had to reach them.
I heard a scream from outside and a radio crackle behind me. I reached for the handset on my turnout coat to respond—but I wasn’t wearing my turnouts, so of course it wasn’t there.
Suddenly, I felt a hand clamp on my shoulder and yank me back.
Sujo was in full gear with his SCBA mask in place until he peeled it away. “Get the fuck out right now,” he shouted. “Alex is outside. Says the building is empty. Tavo isn’t home.”
It was too good to be true. “Are you sure?” I croaked through the billowing haze.
The roar of the flames above us and the sound of debris falling made Sujo yank me down the stairs toward the door. “I’ll clear it. Save us both by going now!”
I did as he said, realizing he was right. I was putting his life and the lives of the rest of my crew in jeopardy by staying there without the proper gear. After quickly making my way out, I passed McMasters going in.
I stumbled down the stairs, lightheaded from the smoke. My eyes burned, and my nostrils stung.
But the pain faded when Alex tackled me outside, nearly knocking me over.
“Judd! Oh, fuck, Judd. Why? Why did you run in there?” he shouted and cried, all while practically strangling me with his arms wrapped tightly around my neck. “Why would you do that, you asshole! I can’t believe you! Don’t you care about me at all?”
He wouldn’t loosen his death grip around my neck even long enough for me to pull back and kiss him. So I hitched him up until he wrapped his legs around my waist, and then I walked toward my truck. Pope gave me an up-nod of understanding, and I knew she’d taken command of the scene.
I opened the back door of my truck and sat sideways on the seat, propping my boots on the running board. “Baby, are you sure the building is clear? Is there any chance someone’s in there?”
“I can’t think of who. Tavo’s at my grandparents’ for the night. It’s Juni’s son’s birthday, so she’s at home celebrating.” He went through the major players at Timber before shuddering. “Judd, what if they’d all been there? What if we hadn’t been closed?”
I glanced at the building while smoothing a hand over his hair and rubbing his back.
“From what I can tell right now, the restaurant itself doesn’t seem to have taken damage.
The fire seems to have originated in the farthest corner of your apartment or maybe the attic.
At most, the restaurant’s bathrooms and food storage rooms might have smoke damage.
If the crew can get the blaze under control, I can get back in there.
We’ll assess the damage. Then I can grab your things. Your clothes. Your… your wine key—”
“Stop! Judd, I don’t care about the wine key. I don’t even care about the building,” he sniffed. “I care about you.”
He finally pulled back so I could see his face. His eyes were red, and tears had soaked his cheeks.
“I love you,” he croaked. “I love you, I love you, I love you. And I’m so damn sorry. I don’t want to be mad at you anymore. I want to be with you. I want to be with you.”
I reached up and cupped his cheeks, swiping the tears away gently with my thumbs.
“Baby. Fuck. I love you, too.” I leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together. “All I could think about when I saw the flames was getting to you and getting you out. You’re my person, Alex. The most important person in the world to me, and nothing is going to change that.”
I kissed him softly before the kiss turned deeper.
The radio squawked from the front seat, letting me know McMasters and Sujo were safely out, and they were opening the lines to attack the blaze.
Alex and I turned to watch.
Sujo aimed his line at the windows in the back room of the apartment while Pope and McMasters swept the stream of water up through the attic vents, pounding the flames until the orange glow dimmed to a darkened gray.
Steam rolled out in gusts, hissing like an angry cat, while the crackle of burning lumber dulled to a wet sputter.
Alex leaned his head on my shoulder. He was still able to see his building from his position in my lap, and we watched it together.
The weight of him against me was the most profound relief. One I’d never take for granted. But while I had everything I needed in my arms, I knew he was watching one of his dreams literally go up in smoke.
I pressed a kiss to his temple. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
He shook his head, then said in a small voice, “What if I did something wrong? What if… what if I left a stove on or had something wired wrong in my apartment, and it’s my fault?”
I kissed the top of his head. “Well, if that’s the case, we’ll learn some lessons. And one of those lessons will be that nobody’s perfect.”
He lifted his head up and stared at me. “Who the fuck are you right now? Is this a side effect of smoke inhalation? Does it cause personality changes? Where’s my grumpy fire chief?”
I leaned in and kissed him again. “He’s right here. By your side, where he belongs. And I don’t think you did anything wrong, Alex. In fact…” I hesitated, then added, “I think I smelled lighter fluid in there. I don’t want to speculate before we have a chance to investigate, but—”
“I don’t use lighter fluid,” he said, his eyes wide enough for me to see white all the way around in the dark parking lot. “I swear, Judd.”
“Baby, I know. Remember when this building was inspected after your original renovations a couple of years ago? I wasn’t here, but I went through the inspection notes.
At that time, the previous chief noted that the only accelerants on the property were the ones in the restaurant that were known and regulated. ”
“I remember making a joke that I didn’t even keep a lighter or matches to light birthday candles upstairs, because if I was going to celebrate, it would be in the restaurant or at my family’s place,” he murmured.
“Mm,” I said. “Or in the back lot with a cake and twenty-something candles.”
He snorted lightly and tucked his head under my chin again to watch the building. “I had to grab a lighter at the checkout counter when I picked up the cake,” he murmured. “I wasn’t about to take my lame-ass birthday cake into the Timber kitchen and have Juni rat me out to my family.”
“It would have ruined your nefarious seduction plans,” I teased softly, keeping my eye on my crew as they went through their process methodically.
Alex’s voice was a whisper. “Judd… will you give me another chance? I promise I’ll try to be braver.”
My heart clenched. “We’ll each give each other another chance. But you’re already plenty brave. I don’t even know what you mean by that.”
His hand came up to fiddle with the collar of my coat.
“I thought… I thought if I told myself I hadn’t fallen in love with you, if I didn’t let myself fall, that I’d be able to keep my heart safe.
That I wouldn’t have to l-lose you again.
” His fingers threaded into the back of my hair and gripped tight, like he’d try to keep me there by force if I attempted to escape him.
Like that would ever happen.
“But that was stupid,” he whispered. “Because when I saw you running in there without any gear, I realized it didn’t matter whether we were in a relationship or not.
If you were hurt, I would want to be there for you.
If you were killed, I’d want to lie down and die, too.
I fell for you a long time ago. First when you were IndexEcho.
And then again when you first called me Firebug.
” He sniffled. “Letting my fear keep me from being honest about that wouldn’t protect me from having my heart broken; all it would do was prevent us from being happy together right now.
I… I don’t want to live afraid anymore.”
God, this man was so fucking strong. So beautiful.
I brushed his messy hair back and kissed him firmly on the forehead.
“You were brave enough to move away and follow your dream. I know you’re brave enough to do this with me.
If I need to promise you that I will not be as stupid again as I was tonight, I’ll do it.
On one condition.” I tilted his chin up until he met my eyes.
“That it’s never you in a burning building.
Because apparently, I’m shit at the rules when it comes to you, Firebug. ”
Alex threw his arms around me again and kissed me again. When I finally pulled away, it was time for us to break out of our little bubble and face reality.
While we may have figured things out between the two of us, we still needed to figure out what the hell happened to his home.
I wasn’t going to rest until I got to the bottom of the damn fire… and made sure the man I loved was safe.